The Secret Service launches new recruitment campaign amidst the Colombian prostitution scandal

by FakePolitics Editorial Staff on April 19, 2012

The Secret Service's new recruitment campaign

After the recent blow to their public image, the Secret Service today launched a new recruitment campaign to encourage qualified individuals to apply for a position within the organization. We spoke to Andres Bocanegra, spokesperson for the Service, to help clarify the details of this campaign.

“The Secret Service has always played second fiddle to the other more glamourous federal law enforcement organizations,” said Bocanegra. “We felt, with the recent publicity, now was the right time to launch this campaign.”

Bocanegra stated that for the first time since the Kennedy assassination, the Secret Service is in the spotlight. “We need to take this opportunity to outflank the glamour boys of the federal law enforcement agencies,” Bocanegra stated vehemently. According to Bocanegra, in recent years, the cream of the crop in recruiting have gravitated to the more glamorous FBI, DEA, and ATF.

We questioned the controversial slogan of “We guarantee to get you laid”, to which Bocanegra replied, “We had to pick a slogan that would ring true with the millennials, which means it should involve lots of sex.”

Bocanegra agreed that the recent scandal has given the Secret Service a “black eye” but insisted that it could turn out to be positive for the federal agency. “This could be our best year, as far as recruitment goes,” said Bocanegra. “In the end, all may be well.”

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